I have this indelible fear of social situations. It's not so bad that I can't deal, or refuse to go out or anything, but it's most definitely there.
You see, I never was popular as a child. I didn't really have a lot of friends. I was the "weird kid" and most people avoided me. I know, I know what you're thinking -- "You?? No way! You're awesome!" Well, I know that now. But then, things weren't so easy. At least once I got to high school I did finally make some friends (2), but on the whole I was a complete outcast. In my adult life, however, I have found it easy to make friends -- sometimes too easy, in fact. Because of the difficulties I had in my childhood with people, I am extremely finicky when it comes to who I choose to associate with. I have a few very close, good friends and that is about it. I don't have an extended list of people I'd call friends or an outersphere of acquaintances, and that is exactly the way I like it.
When it comes to meeting new people, you can't really say that I'm shy. I'm boisterous, I make jokes, it's not difficult for me to talk to people I don't know. The difficult part is that at the beginning of a new relationship with someone (and we all have "relationships" with each other, just different types), I am extremely sensitive and ever-vigilant of types of behaviour that I don't deem becoming as a friend. It is a difficult time because it's easy for me to perceive many small things as a slight, or take things personally that I probably shouldn't.
Regardless, last Thursday my friend Jes dragged me out of my cave to a bar called The Bermuda Triangle. It was there that we bumped into Toni (someone I met years ago and run into at similar social occasions) and her friend, Rachel. The bar was kind of quiet (it was Thursday, after all) so Toni, Jes, Rachel and I kind of grouped up. Rachel is a bubbly, beautiful girl who is very sweet and has a great sense of humour. Jes and I were invited to her birthday party, which would be the following Wednesday (yesterday). We ended the night saying, "See you Wednesday!"
However, Jes had work on Wednesday. This left me going to a birthday party for someone I hardly know all by myself. Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson! So, I called Toni and asked if I could bring a friend, and dragged Andrew's ass out with me. The party was a Dinner'n Drinks kind of thing, which started at a Chinese/Sushi place in the suburbs and ended at the Triangle. There was probably about 15 people at dinner and here I was only knowing Toni, Rae, and Andrew. And sitting on the far end of the table (because I got there later), out of conversation range of both Toni and Rae.
I was, once again, thrust into unfamiliar social territory. Most of the people there were gay (either lesbians or boys), and at our end of the table there was an older, single lesbian woman, an older lesbian couple (probably in their 40's, I'd guess), myself, Andrew, a couple of guys and a couple of girls. The only names I recall are Dom (the 4'9" spunky, hilarious girl) and Stephanie (the slim, somewhat boyish girl with piercings sitting between Dom and I). Opposite the table from me was a cluster of 3 people who already knew each other and centered most of their conversation within their little group. They weren't rude, they just weren't reaching out to other parts of the table (and why would they talk to complete strangers instead of their friends).
I gave Rae a bottle of Shiraz and a Hello Kitty birthday card (IT HAD STICKERS!) and ordered a hot sake for Andrew and I to share. After two of those and a Kirin Ichiban, I was starting to loosen up and get more comfortable with my surroundings. I could hear the conversations people were having, the jokes (some lewd, some intelligent, some outright ridiculous), and I started to converse more with those around me. Stephanie, it turns out, is absolutely hilarious. At one point she had been talking to Dom, and Dom was joking about watching Mexicans on the Discovery channel, as though they were some indigenous tribe. This was funny all its own, but the joke really hit home when Stephanie realised that she'd gotten some mayonnaise from the sushi on the back of Dom's shirt somehow. She pointed it out and said, "It's my responsibility to clean it up, it's my mess!" and then grabbed a piece of damp, crisp lettuce off one of the (now-empty) sushi plates, and proceeded to wipe the back of Dom's shirt with a piece of wet lettuce. Meanwhile, Dom is cracking up and saying, "The indigenous peoples of Mexico use a sheet of wet lettuce to clean their clothing..." and going on with it in this great "narrator" voice.
After everyone ate and we got our to-go boxes, we noticed that somehow Stephanie had managed to stuff 2 ramekins and 2 sake cups into her tiny to-go box -- along with her food! I joked and, picking up my unusually shaped beer glass, said "Ok, get this in there!" Fast-forward twenty minutes later, we're all leaving, and Stephanie comes up to me at my car and hands me the beer glass. Turns out, she was holding the glass behind her back and as she was leaving, she just kept bowing to the staff and thanking them for the meal to hide it from them. I'm sure the staff was thinking, "Stupid Americans, thinking we bow for everything!" Still... She got me a new beer glass!
We all met up at the Triangle for karaoke night and all-in-all, I had a really great time. All of Stephanie's friends were funny and nice and great to hang out with. Phone numbers and MySpaces were exchanged, so I'm looking forward to more fun in the future!
Oh yeah, and happy birthday, Rae!
No comments:
Post a Comment