I don't own a phone. Neither a home nor cell phone. Well, technically I own a month-to-month phone, but I don't use it. I tell people it was a social experiment. I say, you know, cell phones are so prevalent in our society that EVERYONE has one, even small children have cell phones. I wonder how people would react if I didn't have one? Because that sounds a lot better than "I'm sick and tired of sinking $80 a month into having a phone." But really, that's the case. I had an iPhone, and it was really nice, but $80 a month is a lot of money. That's $960 a year! Do you know how much alcohol I can buy with $960?!
Anyway, I don't have a phone. Recently, I signed up for Skype. I have an iPod and 99% of the time I'm within range of decent wifi (at home, school, and work), so I can use Skype anywhere. It's $8.95 for three months. It's just the basic voice plan for the United States, but that's all I need. For less than $3 a month, it doesn't need fancy features (although you can add them). I'm not trying to advertise for Skype, and for a lot of people it probably wouldn't work. I use it in conjunction with GoogleVoice (which is free). People call my GVoice number if they want to get ahold of me. I get an e-mail saying I've missed a call, and then I can call that person back on Skype. It works well for me and literally saves me hundreds of dollars a year.
So basically, while I don't have a "phone", I have a phone.
Now, we'll pretend that I've got a really good segue here to start talking about neighbours. I don't like neighbours. Well, I suppose that's unfair. I am apathetic towards neighbours. My preference is that we all just pretend that we don't exist. Some people think that neighbors can be a great support system, but I'm against that. That's what friends and family are for. I chose my friends and I already have to interact with my family whether I like it or not (I just happen to like it). Co-workers, too! I don't get to pick them but I have to interact with them. Why would I want to insert another group of people that I don't have the option of choosing into my life? I want nothing to do with them. The old suburban style where you borrow your neighbour's saw, and they borrow a cup of sugar, and you borrow a screwdriver, etc., it's simply not for me. I don't want to borrow anything from you. I'll be cordial, wave hello if we bump into each other in the hallway, drop off erroneously delivered mail, etc... But I don't feel I should be responsible for these people's problems. And unfortunately, they all seem to have problems.
I'm sitting at home relaxing one afternoon when there's a knock on the door. It's a neighbor. One I've never had a single conversation with. I think I might've seen her once or twice coming and going, but we've never said a word to each other (perhaps a polite nod, but nothing more). She wants to know if she can use my phone. At this point in time, I'm between pay-as-you-go and Skype. I hadn't paid for my Cricket phone that month, but I had yet to set up Skype. So I literally didn't have a telephone available. And I told her, I'm sorry, I don't have a phone right now. "It's month-to-month." I said, "I didn't pay it this month."
And really, really... I don't think she believed me. Oh sure, it's perfectly rational that YOU wouldn't have a phone, but when I say I don't have a phone, I must be a filthy liar. Well you can go rightly fuck yourself, thank-you-very-much. It's so great that she thinks I'm a liar. And even if I DID have a phone, I'm under no obligation to allow her or anyone else to use it. It would be MY phone that I pay for. If she wants a phone, she can pay for a phone. Or hey, how about using a pay phone? They're a bit harder to find these days, but you know, I don't have a phone and I found a solution that works for me. So now I'm being judged as a liar by this useless nobody that I happen to live next door to. Do you see why I don't like neighbours?
"But, but, but!" you say... "I have some wonderful neighbours! Why once I needed a cup of sugar and not only did she loan me that, but the next week when I found out I had acute renal failure, she donated a kidney!"
Well, that's just peachy for you. You must live on a different side of town. The last apartment I lived at I played the same way - basic cordiality, no in-depth conversation or interaction with my neighbours. There was one woman I think I'd talked to maybe twice, for like 30 seconds each time, who one day came a-knockin' at my door. I answered, and she promptly asked me if she could "borrow" five dollars. No one "borrows" five dollars. It's such a minuscule amount of money that it would be a breeze to justify not paying it back. Besides, if you're so hard up that you need to borrow FIVE DOLLARS, I'm not anticipating extra income in your future with which to pay me back. And to think, normally I have to go to a street corner to get panhandled! Now I can have the convenience of panhandling right here at home! Luckily, I almost never carry cash so I could very honestly reply that I didn't have $5 on me at the time.
The other neighbour who lived above us I had the displeasure of calling the police on repeatedly over domestic violence noise. You know them: yelling, screaming, unusual bumps against the wall, etc. Oftentimes it would spill out into the stairwell. Can't you people at least keep your domestic violence domestic? Why must it spill over into common areas. It doesn't help that I really don't understand the abuser/abusee relationship. I understand that people change, and that abusive people are generally very sweet at the start of relationship but over time grow to be very manipulative. I have read and heard that they use their manipulative skills to persuade the abusee that no one else will care about them, and that they're worthless. I know they often cut the abusee off from family and friends, and once the abusee is completely cut-off, the violence often escalates. I realise it's a mind-fuck and it's a horrible thing.
But we don't live in some third-world country where spouse abuse is not only accepted, but expected. This is a country where almost anyone can get help for almost any reason, and almost ALWAYS free. Even alcoholics and drug-addicts (truly, a self-inflicted illness, but very real nonetheless) have access to rehabilitation services and therapy and often for free or very low-cost. People who are involved in abusive relationships have access to counseling, to shelters that will help take care of them and any children they have. There are social groups who have hundreds of thousands of dollars funneled into them from the government and philanthropists for JUST THIS REASON. Take advantage of that shit! And if you don't, then I'm sorry... What can I say? Enjoy your busted-capillary life, I guess. BUT AT LEAST KEEP IT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Some of us are trying to sleep/relax/enjoy life.
So now you know. I'm a total miser.
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