It could never be said that I am fashion-conscious. I choose my clothing based on very few criteria: comfort, cleanliness, lack-of-wrinkles. In that particular order. And on a day off? Forget wrinkle-free, I don't give a shit. You fuckers are lucky I'm wearing any clothes at all. I realise that not everyone is like me. Some people actually choose their daily wear based on things like "style" and "color" and this concept called "matching" that I'm not entirely clear on. I don't have to worry about matching, though, because most of what I buy is black or dark-colored. I'm not some emo fag, I'm just a total klutz and it's easier to get coffee stains out of dark-colored clothing than white.
Shoes. I have a serious shoe problem. I know I have a shoe problem, and they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. I do not have any kind of fashion sense especially when it comes to shoes. Do they fit? Are they (relatively) clean? Do I look less homeless in them than an actual homeless person? Perfect. Because of my lack of shoe-awareness, I probably look fairly ridiculous on any given day. The fact is, I only own 3 pairs of shoes and I don't have ENOUGH shoes to match every style of clothes I wear (and by style, I mean "business casual", "casual" and "vagrant").
But again, I don't really give a shit. I understand that fashion may be your cup of tea, and you actually know the whole "never wear ____ before/after federal holiday" thing, and maybe you even follow the rule. Perhaps when you shop, it actually brings you joy to mix and match shoes with belts with pants with blouses (or jackets/ties, shirts whatever). Maybe that is totally YOUR THING and blowing a few thousand dollars at the Nordstroms is a real treat. It is not the case for me. Clothes are a necessity and I treat them like every other necessity in my life. When I go buy food, I don't base my decisions on what is popular at the moment. I pick what I like and what works, with very few criteria. And no, I don't buy ALL ORGANIC because I hate mother earth and I truly intend to get cancer from all the awful, non-organic, pesticide-laden food that we've been eating for over a hundred fucking years and are now living twice as long as we did a hundred fucking years ago.
Boy, I got a little carried away there, didn't I?
I have worked with or gone to school with people who feel very strongly about clothing, fashion and appearance. I don't really hold it against you, though I do think it's a total waste of time and money. Name-brand schname-brand. Your Dolce & Gabbana was made in ITALY, wow! Those Italians are sure better at making BASIC CLOTHING than we are! I'm so glad I paid sixteen times more for this DOLCE & GABBANA handbag because THE QUALITY IS SO MUCH HIGHER! It is clear to myself and everyone around me that I am a person of high caliber, and am generally much better than everyone else!
Go fuck yo'self, seriously.
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